Going out as a couple : the marriage vitamin

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Extract from the article: Living happily in a marriage depends on a number of parameters, some of which seem subtle and sometimes overlooked. One of the fundamental elements of a happy marriage that is often overlooked is going out as a couple. Going out as a couple is a very

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Living happily in a marriage depends on a number of parameters, some of which seem subtle and sometimes overlooked. One of the fundamental elements of a happy marriage that is often overlooked is going out as a couple. Going out as a couple is a very common occurrence and offers a number of advantages for couples, but it is increasingly disappearing from the lives of many couples, who end up suffering the setbacks of this fundamental principle of a happy marriage.

After marriage, couples experience intense periods of love, sensuality and caring for each other. But as the years go by, the atmosphere in the home changes as a result of having children or living together. As a result, the couple's outings desert the forum, creating a rift between the spouses, who at the beginning of their marriages were almost inseparable on outings. « In the early years of our marriage, my husband took me out almost every week, especially at weekends, to go to the beach, restaurants or even public places. But after the birth of our second son, everything suddenly changed », says Jeanne, 40, a housewife and accountant at a hardware company in Sagbado. Papa Godwin, a retired septuagenarian, added: « In our day, cinema was all the rage.I used to go there regularly with my wife. But with the arrival of children in our household, we no longer have the time for this pleasure of going out ».

So from yesterday to today, the situation is the same, despite the various opportunities couples have to go out and the plethora of places to have fun that Togo has to offer.

Opportunities and places to go out as a couple

In Togo, a number of events provide opportunities for couples to go out together. As far as the frequency of couples' outings is concerned, they should be regular, without couples waiting for problems to arise before trying to go out together. « You don't necessarily have to have an opportunity before going out as a couple. You can just decide to please your wife. As for the places, that will depend on the taste of the woman you want to please », says Grégoire,  a 31-year-old customs declarant. A general practitioner, points out that « walking in the evening, taking a stroll in the neighbourhood, is also a couple's outing.In short, the opportunities are created by the desire to go out. There's no particular place. You can go anywhere you like, depending on how you feel: to friends, relatives, a restaurant, a bar, a tourist spot, the beach, another town, another country, take a walk in the neighbourhood or elsewhere without having a specific destination ».

In addition to these moments of pleasure, events such as weddings or birthdays of a close relative, or the funeral of a third party, are all opportunities for couples to go out together. On these occasions, it is preferable for the man to be accompanied by his wife whenever possible.

As well as these places, public squares are also places where couples can experience their married life in a different way. Walks at night and during the day are real additions to couples lives. You can also treat your wife to a meal in a restaurant for two, for a change of scene.

Advantages of going out as a couple

« It relaxes the couple, allows them to clear their minds and break the routine ; it brings the couple closer together and strengthens them both physically and mentally », explains Flavia, 34, who has been married for 2 years.

« Going out as a couple strengthens the bonds between couples.It creates exceptional moments of sharing.It brings more joy into the home, it de-stresses, it shows the couple care », stresses Gregoire. 

Going out as a couple is vitally important, as it enables husband and wife to get to know each other better and live better together at home. « When I'm out with my husband like this, I feel more loved and more secure », says Justine, 27, a secretary at a school in Lomé, whom she met with her husband in a public square. Like her, going out as a couple brings nothing but good to the home. They can be a good time to have important discussions at home. Fleur, a newly-wed 2 years ago, reiterates this point: « Going out as a couple brings the relationship back to life, you remember the good old days when you first met and all that goes with it. Talk, have fun and above all have a good time together, perhaps after a tiring week at work ».

An evening or weekend away together, without children, is a special time to enrich the bond of love. « Going out as a couple refreshes the atmosphere. It gives them a chance to talk away from the daily hassles of home », says Romarick, a telecoms engineer.

Félix, 40, a maintenance technician, admits that going out as a couple has a huge impact on their health.  « The couple gain in solidarity, motivation and understanding; they reaffirm their love for each other. Both enjoy themselves, the very health of each spouse is impacted by such outings, and the feeling of love is strengthened within the couple.These types of outings allow couples to let off steam and tell each other some truths », he explains.These outings strengthen the bond between the couple, closing the door on third parties seeking to harm the couple.

Causes of the drop in the number of couples going out after marriage

There are several reasons for this.First and foremost are professional commitments, which mean that couples are often absorbed in their work and have no time for pleasure.This situation is exacerbated by the arrival of children, who become a handicap to the couple going out together. For many, it may be lack of resources, indifference, lack of attention and affection, or lack of creativity that justify the fact that couples are confined all the time within the four walls of their home. For some men, simply to avoid the arguments that often result from going out with their wives, they prefer to go out alone to enjoy themselves.

 « At the beginning of our marriage, we used to go out together.But I've noticed that every time we go out, we come home with a fishtail.She always finds something to argue about.That's why I stopped going out like that », said one father. In such cases, marriage counsellors urge men to be wise enough to leave certain discussions before they turn into arguments.

Going out as a couple is very important. Couples need to take more time to enjoy each other's company by changing their environment from time to time.When couples indulge in these outings, households will be better off.

William O.